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Write in recollection and amazement for yourself.

I have nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

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Sarahfina Somnambulist
8 November

Journal writing is a voyage to the interior. I write because I'm afraid to say some things out loud.

"I am not eccentric. It's just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of goldfish." -Dame Edith Sitwell

My name is Sarahfina. I'm what most call a Drama Queen. Purely for the fact that I take a lot to heart, no other reason. I care far too much about everything and anything. I was born too compassionate, and if the world doesn't ruin me first, I'll die too compassionate. I cry over splinters and I laugh at nothing. I love and place trust too easily, and when my heart is broken... it doesn't go unbeknownst to others.

It's no secret that I am a BIG girl. Always have been. Always will be. Which means that the only way i'll ever wear a size four or even a fourteen is if you add them together. That's right, I'm a size 18. And I'm proud because I wear it extremely well.

I hate it when people say stupid shit like, "You need to do something about that gut," and "Isn't that your fourth slice of sweet potato pie?" No, bitch, It's my fifth, and I may go for a sixth. Just because I like to get my eat on doesn't mean there shouldn't be room in the spotlight for me too.

Rainy days and starry nights... In the course of a lifetime, what will it matter?

You can hide your genetics under drastic cosmetics but this chameleon magic is renowned to be tragic.

Curvy women are beautiful.

Yours truly, previously known as quoggenzocker.

I adore some of the things that people say to me.

  • Mark: "You'll always be cool in my eyes, I wouldn't care if you had wings growin' out of your ass-hole."

  • Crea: "You DO realize that if we kissed... it would sound like a sword fight!"

  • Logan: "Wow... I look away for five seconds and even the dog is in on it!!!"

  • My Mother: "What drugs are you taking? Your eyes are red and you're speaking Spanish." (My response: "Actually mom, it's proven that the main side-effects of dropping acid is random spurts of bilangual nonsense.")

  • Brian: "God, I'm just not feelin' this... if only it was narrarated by William Shatner or Lenord Nemoy or somebody else from Star Trek. Mr. Sulu, he's gay, he could do it"

  • Sammie: "You two will be together eventually... I can feel it, and I promise it's not because I have a vibrator in my pussy."

  • Meghan: "NO MOTHER FUCKING BFF? =("

  • Josan: "I'll be that guy with the broken torso trying to pick up chicks."

  • Dave: "The more I talk to you, the more I find you to be one of the most beautiful women I know. While prehaps your image is not something that graces the cover of Cosmo, you have much more subsansitive beauty, you're much more unique and intriguing, and you have much more to express than said Cosmo-girl anyway. Maybe not everyone sees it like me, but most people think there really is a Jesus, too."

  • Gabriel: "Don't worry about yourself, Sarah. It isn't you. He's just, y'know. A few crayons short of a middle-class restaurant."

  • Brian: "Whenever I talk to him... I expect something historical or world changing to come out of his mouth... but instead, do you know what I get? "I make race-cars with my own poop"."

  • Smutty: "I guess all these notions come from having watched too much porn. If you started watching porn before ever having had sex (which, if you're a guy, will most certainly have been the case), you grew up having certain expectations: Every girl is easy, you get to do it in dozens of different positions, she loves it in every orifice, everything you do is punctuated with loud moans of approval and of course, you always finish with a facial shot. When you first have sex however, you invariably end up being disappointed; "What do you mean 'get it away from my face'?! Didn't you read the script?!"

  • Josan: "Pardon me sir, but you have a medieval weapon falling out of your ass."

  • Gabriel: "Moving on from your perceptions of croos maturbation..."

  • Brian: "Damnit Liberachi, let my soul go!"

  • Clown Duke: "I pretty much said that I love your rack and you make me hard."

  • Brian: "I'd love you more if you were a lesbian... because then I could stare at your girlfriends tits instead of having to hang out with whatever ass hole you happen to be seeing."

    Me: I'm really sick.
    Meghan: Oh sugar, I'm sorry.
    Me: It's okay, I'll get better eventually.
    Meghan: OR! you'll die.
    Meghan: look on the bright side.

    Brian: How have you been?
    Brad: You want me to tell the trut or do you want me to lie?
    Brian: Uhh... lie.
    Brad: Everything is perfect and the world revolves around me.
    Brian: I wondered why the day seemed longer.

  • a way with words, absurdists, activism, aesthetically pleasing images, aestheticism, aloofness, alter-egoes, anti-status quo, antiques, aristocracy, art nouveau, batcave, bats day, big women, body modification, burlesque, cats, charles dickens, charm, childhood memories, chivalry, cinematography, classic horror, classical music, clubbing, corsetry, criminal psychology, curves, curvy girls, curvy women, danny elfman, dark romances, darkwave, deathrock, disneyland after dark, dressing up, dry wit, edgar allan poe, edward gorey, edwardian era, elegance, escher, existential bullshit, fairy tales, female villains, fetish, fishnets, folklore, foreign languages, girly guys, goth-hawks, gothic victorian, grotesque art, hearses, hindenburg, hollywood icons, hopeless romance, horror films, intellectualism, literary quotes, man ray, married before breakfast, monty python, mysticism, new wave, obnoxious attire, open-mindedness, oscar wilde, overextended similies and metaphors, philosophic nonsense, photography, piercings, pin-ups, pirates, pixie boots, platform boots, pocket watches, pomp and circumstance, pompousness, pomps, post modern literature, post punk, pretension, real bodies, realistic sex education, renaissance, ridiculous stories, robert young, roman dirge, romantic composers, sarcasm, sci-fi, scream queens, sense & sensibility, shakespearean insults, silent horrors, silent movies, sophistication, style not fashion, synthesizers, the munsters, theologic discussions, vagabond lady, vintage, vintage erotica, violins, well-dressed eccentrics, wicked wit, writing.

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